It's probably because the first bit isn't really true (iPads have a longer supported life than many Android tablets, for example I updated my 2018 iPad Pro with the most recent iPadOS 18.1.1 including this security fix earlier today). And given that the silly joke falls flat.

The iPad 5 in question from the OP supports iPadOS 16 and that last got a security update in August of this year. So if it hasn't got an update today then possibly the vulnerability was only introduced in iOS / iPadOS 17.

I can assure you that the toilet paper is much more comfortable than dollar bills.

Meta meta: comments making vague complaints about other comments being downvoted, typically get downvoted.