I would also suggest finding a quiet, dark place near your house where you can go on a walk with your infant. As I walked around the neighborhood, she went from refershed by the air, to a bit annoyed that she wasn't able to move around much - I'm sure some neighbors heard protest crying - to dazed and then resigned to close the eyes. I got upwards of 10,000 steps every night just walking around with her, and learned a lot about myself from trying to get her to fall asleep -- pre-bedtime quiet activities, orange/dim lighting, 62-68 degrees and keeping a very dark bedroom. Also, having someone nearby can also help, possibly singing quietly or giving a gentle massage, which can lower cortisol levels. Breastfeeding has also helped us a lot, something as a father you can't do, but a warm bottle can help. Bouncing on yoga balls also worked for us (I went to a hotel's gym just for the ball once). It gets much better though, brave it out for the first year if you can! My 13-month old daughter now goes into the bed on her own when she gets tired and sleeps for long stretches on her own.
These are great suggestions, but I am going to add my own, as an experienced mother of three. Whenever the getting-to-sleep process starts, once you've gotten comfortable, baby in arms or in the stroller, you have to let your mind wander, even if you're rocking or singing a little sleepy song. Babies can tell when you're sitting there thinking "is he asleep yet? how about now? what if we're up all night?" As long as your attention is in the room, the baby will be alert. Cast your mind outside of the house, think about the yard and the street, then just let your thoughts wander, almost as if you yourself were drifting off. You'll be boring, and the baby will fall asleep.
I agree with this. For our kids, I've been the one that's most successful with quick sleep times, and my wife and I believe it's largely driven with our different mental energies during that time.
I'm a night owl, so don't feel pressure to rush it, and just settle in for the long haul and relax and daydream myself, planning to finish my day once the kids are good and settled. My wife gets tired at night and spends the time tallying her remaining chores and work that needs finished before she can get to bed herself, and the kids then tend to not settle down.
It's harder now with our 3 year old, who uses mama's hair as her bedtime lovie.
